There have been quite a few questions about the wedding ceremony, so I thought I'd bash off a few notes.
If you were married in a Christian Church, once upon a time (usually right after the building) various clergy did all sorts of things to make that Church a sacred place, including anointing cornerstones with oil, sprinkling holy water, and waving incense about. You didn't get to see any of that because you weren't there (and if it was an old Church, you probably weren't born yet) but trust me, it happened.
When we got married in the park there, well nobody had done any of that so Erik and Michelle did it, and I do realize it all looks terribly esoteric but it really is all boiler-plate as far as space-blessing goes.
The Opening is a poem by my dear friend and mentor,
Robin Skelton, which I included in his memory.
We make this circle around us
for love's protection
in the power of the first name
We make this circle around us
to join us together
in the power of the second name
We make this circle around us
that is endless
in reverence for the third name
In Her three names
is this circle made
The next bit I wrote, and it really says why we're getting married in a graveyard; because it is a place where one thing becomes another thing, and that's what we were there to do. There is also an invocation of the elements (as in Plato); the sacred idea that everything is made up of earth, air, fire, and water. Everything is in balance, and the theme of
balance pervades the ceremony.
In this space of thresh-holds
where sorrow becomes sweet memory
where words become stone
where the land becomes the sea
do we gather to honour this woman, this man
their family, and their union
with the wind for sweet words
and fire for passion and will
with water for love and reflection
and with the earth for constancy
we bring to this hour our witness
in bond of friendship and family
This next churchy bit is Gnostic, from my friend
Bishop +Rosamonde Miller in Palo Alto, California, who inspired me to become a Priest.
O Lord and Lady of life and love, who have mysteriously infused into us the desire to love one another both spiritually and bodily, grant that in our lives we may express the sacred imperative to bring us together in your awesome mystery of the bridal chamber. Grant us O Divine Presence that the coming together of our bodies, souls, and spirits may be a true sacrament of your divine intent.
Keep this love in flower, sacred in the inmost shrines of their hearts. Bless Zandra and Jordan with wisdom, patience and understanding. May their lives together be filled with joy and laughter and may they always be nourishment, shade and shelter to each other throughout their lives. Amen.
Thank you all for coming today to witness this union.
We have gathered together with joy and friendship for the joining together in marriage of Zandra and Jordan. Their falling in love and their getting to know one another has deepened their life and connection not only with one another but with all living things. Their wedding ceremony is an outward form of the sacred union they already experience in their hearts. To give rather than receive, to listen to one another with trust, respect and compassion will constantly renew the love they feel today and their knowledge of themselves and one another.
Then I showed up with Brendan, Liam, and Chinchin, and there was this...
horn. I didn't anticipate the horn, but it was Michelle's idea of a way to let the girls know that it was time for them to come over so Z could get married. It was terribly fun, but I didn't put it in there.
Then there were two poems; Brendan read a Shakespearean sonnet;
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
And Monica read some
Pablo Neruda;
Apenas te he dejado,
vas en mí, cristalina
o temblorosa,
o inquieta, herida por mí mismo
o colmada de amor, como cuando tus ojos
se cierran sobre el don de la vida
que sin cesar te entrego.
Amor mío,
nos hemos encontrado
sedientos y nos hemos
bebido toda el agua y la sangre,
nos encontramos
con hambre
y nos mordimos
como el fuego muerde,
dejándonos heridas.
Pero espérame,
guárdame tu dulzura.
Yo te daré también
una rosa.
Which of course translates to;
I have scarcely left you
when you go in me, crystalline,
or trembling,
or uneasy, wounded by me
or overwhelmed with love, as when your eyes
close upon the gift of life
that without cease I give you.
My love,
we have found each other
thirsty and we have
drunk up all the water and the blood,
we found each other
hungry
and we bit each other
as fire bites,
leaving wounds in us.
But wait for me,
keep for me your sweetness.
I will give you too
a rose.
Okay, then there's usually a traditional bit you may have seen where the parents of the bride and groom light a candle each, and then these candles come together to light a third candle. We modified this because it's on a clifftop, it gets windy and candles go out, so I wrote a wine-pouring thing instead (same idea);
This wine is the blood of life
from two women
from two families
this mingling
is the gift of their life
it is the gift of their blessing
And our vows;
J: By the pulse of love that made us
by the seasons that were our witness
by these oaks and by this ocean
I take you to my life as my lover, friend and bride
Z: By the spell that brought you to me
by the brown of my eyes and the blue of yours
by my will and beneath this sky
I take you to my life as my lover, friend and husband
Then we exchanged rings;
I give you this ring: Let it circle you as a symbol of my love and our marriage, as a reminder that I am with you in every hour of every season, for every breath and heartbeat of your life.
Next was the
handfasting; this is a very old English tradition (which is where "tie the knot" comes from) where the braid made from the "horizontal maypole" thing at the beginning is used to bind us together. That made it all official;
Let the sun and the moon and the stars, and these our brothers and sisters, bear witness that Zandra and Jordan have been joined together. And may God and Goddess, Word and Wisdom, bless them, as we do ourselves.
After that was the
jumping of the broom, another medieval English thing, and is the origin of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold. But this is a fun bit that people seem to enjoy.
Okay the esoteric bit was stabbing the wine with a dagger: It symbolizes boy-bits-in-girl-bits, and is a standard witchy thing.
As the cup is the eternal Bride, so the blade is the eternal Bridegroom, and joined, they become one in truth, bringing completion, fruitfulness, and joy.
Then Michelle declares the whole thing done with a standard closing from their Church tradition;
By the Earth that is Her Body,
By the Air that is Her Breath,
By the Fire that is Her Bright Spirit,
By the Waters of Her Living Womb
And all that is above,
And all that is below,
The Circle is open, but never broken.
Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again!
And that was that. Your typical witches-get-married-at-the-crossroads-in-a-graveyard-on-the-day-of-a-full-moon wedding.
